The End Of Season...

The boys played their final games of basketball for the season last night.  It was bitter sweet, knowing they were up against the two better teams of the entire league and they were, well, not on the two best teams of the league. Signing them up for basketball was a big step, as they had never been on a team sport before.  Yes, there was dodge ball thing last year, but as we all know, dodge ball is very much an "every man for himself" kind of game. So, after checking the schedule, and really being sick of listening to the whining, I decided to throw them to the wolves completely give in to my over protective mothering, and sign them up with the league down the street and see where it went.  The focus for them would be to improve on their skills, but mostly learning to work as a team, play fair, not get frustrated, and most important, learning how to lose.

And boy did they.

Sadly, even with Tony stepping up as the assistant coach on Youngest's team, the blue team came in tied for last place.  The Green, Oldest's team, came in third to last.  They played every game, regardless of how many people came.  They shook hands, fell on their butts, and  they made spectacular shots from the three point line.  Oldest learned that if you yell and get frustrated, you won't get played.  He also learned that falling on the ground crying because you got poked in the eye makes you look like a big baby.  Youngest learned that no matter how tall you are, if you jump up and down in front of the opposing team with your hands up, most likely you'll get them to foul or travel.  And sometimes, you'll even get the ball.

They both learned not to take any game for granted.  The games they thought for sure they would lose, were some of their best played games, while the ones they thought they'd win for sure, were their most brutal and devastating losses.

I learned that while the idea of having your children on separate teams is fantastic, the reality of being at the gym 3 nights a week for 3 months and watching them play each other, not once but twice, is not so fantastic. I also learned that I could scream "Defense, get your hands up!" in 3 different languages and the kids still won't listen to me.

But last night, watching them play their last games, I noticed something.  It all started coming together.  Kids that never passed the ball, passed.  Ones that never took the shot went in for the lay up.  Day dreamers who always seemed to be more interested in watching the ceiling than the game, suddenly were alert, jazz hands a' waiting, to get the foul shot as soon as it hit the rim.  Small victories were won, two points at a time.  They aggressively went after the ball, blocked with their feet not their hands, and got the rebounds.  I watched as everyone on Oldest's team scored at least one basket, and despite being down two of their better players,  saw the pride in their faces as they lost by only three points.  I watched a boy on Youngest's team steal the ball, and from no where, take it all the way down court and attempt a basket.  Something  no one, not even his own mother sitting in shock next to me, thought he would ever do.

They played hard.  Harder than they ever had.  One mother said "He had no expectation of winning the game, he was just there to play tonight."  And he did.  They all did.

And while losing gets old,  and the frustration of not being the best can eat away at everyone, there were no tears at the end of the last game.

No smack talk about bad calls.

No sighs of disbelief, or wanting to crawl into bed and forget the game ever happened.

There were just happy boys looking forward to the next season, when they'd hopefully talk me into putting them on the same team, so they can practice their pick and roll with the coach...

...at 530 am in the living room.

Truth Is Thursday...

I forgot it was Thursday.

Truth is... I don't have it in me for a real post today.  Nothing wrong per say, just busy.

Truth is... I'm a complete failure at this blog carnival lately.


Truth is... I'm really OK with that.

Long, But Not So Depressing....

So, It's been a few days and I thought I'd let you all know that I am fine.  Really, I am.  I indulged in my cocoa later that night, snuggled down and slept my sorrows away.  Tony treated me the next day with more cocoa from  Dunkin' Donuts, which if you've never had, you are truly missing out.  I swear it's something in the temperature of the water in which they make their cocoa that makes it impossible to match at home.  I suspect it's that they have their water piped directly from Hell, because anything that good must be sinful.

Anyways...

What have I been up to?

Well, A mountain of laundry has yet again been conquered.  And I must say, this laundry detergent that I found on Pinterest and finally got around to making is the best detergent I have ever used.  I even gave some to my friend (she's got 7 kids, it's a wonder her laundry ever gets caught up) and my Mom to try.  Seriously, it even gets our blood and bicycle grease the first time around.  I know this, well, because I have boys.  Enough said.


I have gotten all of the stuff to make these fabulous Valentines for the boy's classrooms, also found on Pinterest, via Danelle...

  Yes, it's a bit pricey, but so worth it.  And hey, this is Oldest's last year for Valentines, so I decided to live a little.

Speaking of Valentine's Day...I bought Tony a little something for Valentine's day, that ended up costing me more than a few pennies.  Don't ya just hate when your creative genius clashes with your budget? Yeah, me too.  Anyway, I thought I'd give him a heads up of what I'll be expecting in return.

We're going away for the night.

It will also be the weekend of our 6 month anniversary (no, I'm not that dorky, but I'm using it as the excuse to spend the money) and we haven't even gone to dinner sans children since our honeymoon.  So, it's totally legit, right?

The boys's bedroom is finally coming together.  I have decided to skip the molding and trim for now, as the room is not to code and will add no resale value to the house.  Besides, we have so many other things we could spend $400 on right now.  Here's a look at Youngest's side....

As you can see... he loves his superheros.  As you can also see, I am the type who doesn't insist on my photos being picture perfect either.  Seriously, the bed is made and there's next to nothing on the floor.  That my friends is as good as it will ever get around here.... the shelves are more or less hopeless.  He says there's a system there... Yeah, I got nothing.

This is a look at Oldest's side....

He's big into the sports... motocross, Nascar, basketball, etc.  The hoop is an old one that we had on the garage.  He has a stuffed angry bird that he shoots 3 pointers with.  Whatever, he's quiet and not fighting with his brother.  He could be slam dunking actual birds down there and I would care less.  he loves his photos on the wall and he has a stained glass window that catches the light in the morning.  It also gives him the sense of additional privacy since it's above his bed. Just to the left of his bed is his TV with all his gaming stuff.

 The room is about 400 square feet, divided down the center by book shelves that span almost to the ceiling.  The common area at the bottom of the stairs has a flat screen with the Wii...

....and will sport an awesome couch as soon as I get to the fabric store to get the necessary materials to upholster it.

I must say, it's quite the budget friendly Boy Cave, and so far, all the kids love it.

The sun room is coming together slowly.  We are hoping to have the floors done before we go away. We settled on a Spice strand bamboo, based primarily on durability and price.  I also love the Eco friendly aspects of bamboo as well.  My mudroom area is coming along quite well, and should be wrapped up (minus the floors) tomorrow.  I'm hoping to post pictures by the weekend.

So, after some big deep breaths, I have sucked it up, carried on.  Funny though, after my last post I started to notice little signs out side.  My Josie roses already have buds all over the branches.  Daffodils are already blooming around town.  And my Rhoda already has buds...

Spring is on it's way....

Warning: Very Long, Not So Happy Post. Enjoy!

It's winter here in New England.  It's the time of snow piled high, forever encased in layers of ice and sand, until sometime in March when some unseasonably warm days will slowly start washing it away, layer by layer, until all we are left with is the dirt and grime of the street and a flattened Diet Coke can long forgotten in the driveway before that very first snow months ago.

It's the time when that pretty white blanket covers all of the hibernating grass and barren tree limbs, giving it that deceptively beautiful heavenly appearance, until you step outside to find your newly washed hair has instantly frozen solid from the -3 degree windchill and you have to actually check your lower extremities to ensure that yes, they are in fact still there, despite the fact that you can no longer feel them.

Unless, of course, it's 2011.  In which case there has been only one day of snow, totaling 8 inches, that was quickly washed away the following 50 degree day of rain.  The entire month of January spoiled us with 50 to 60 degree days, allowing me to only burn through one tank of propane the entire month.  February has brought a cold snap of 40 degrees, and every day that passes brings us 2 more minutes of glorious sunshine, and closer and closer to spring time, Easter candy, and all things summer.  Quite frankly, this winter has left us New England-ites with nothing to complain about.

So, it is with much confusion that I wonder why I feel as if I am fully enthralled in my traditional seasonal depression.  I am no stranger to this, as it happens every year.  I do many things to combat it.  Eat better, sleep more, develop routines, clean house, begin projects for focus, blah, blah, blah.  Seasonal depression and I are old friends.  He visits, I tolerate him from a distance, and then he packs up and moves on.  But this year, it has been magnified by so many other things.....

~  The autopsy report of my ex-husband arriving in the mail.  Seems it was an acute overdose of Seroquel and another depressant drug.  My current lack of knowledge, and failed Google search on how to read a toxicology report revealed that in fact, I have no idea how much an acute overdose is.  For all I know, he mistakenly took an extra dose of medication and swished it down with an ice cold Budweiser.  I could make out that he was not in fact even close to drunk at the time, which surprised me.  As if knowing that he died, a tragic accident of drowning himself in a half gallon of moonshine would have somehow made this any better, if and when the boys seek specifics on their father's death later in life.  I can say for certainty though, he didn't feel a thing, evident by the large quantity of Oxycodone, also present in his system, and that most likely he would not have survived more than a few more years as, at 39, his arteries were already 80% blocked.

There is something to be said about simply knowing too much, my pen pals.

Thing is, his death comes a week before we lost another extended family member.  One that had fought a life long illnesses and would have changed places with him in a heartbeat.  One that, regardless of how sick he was, still would have chosen to live.

I have had severe postpartum depression.  I have had thoughts of suicide in those horrendous moments of hormonal instability.  But some where deep inside, I knew it was wrong.  I knew there were people who needed me, who wanted me.  I knew my life mattered.  I just can't imagine being in a place where in my core, I didn't know that.

~  Our nephew has chosen his teenage love life over his academics.  He has, in his first semester of high school, surrendered  hockey and lacrosse scholarships to private high schools and prospective colleges of his choice, to his albeit, beautiful, Brazilian girlfriend. And, while we all understand this misguided rebellion, as we were all starry eyed young lovers once ourselves, the opportunities, even if they are reinstated, will never be the same.  And, I fear his goddess of choosing will not be standing by his side when he's flipping burgers at the local Steak and Fry.

~  My coworker, only last month given a clean bill of health and ready to come back to work after his battle with stage four lymphoma, was told over the last two days that they have found more cancer.  Add to this that the office is in general chaos, management contradicting the unions.  Substitute carriers are pitting against each other making working together extremely difficult, and once again, hangnails and hangovers are fast becoming viable reasons to not show up on Monday mornings.

~  Even my virtual world is not immune.  Melynda, my sista'  from across the states, has lost her vision, and despite the challenges, still manages to type out comments and posts.  Her strength and determination humbles me, and reminds me that I must take better care of my own Diabetes, so I do not travel the path she is on.  Although, I'm sure she'd make great company.

~  Shannon, one of my most faithful Pen Pals is battling her own special brand of Catstir, and all other horrible things that begin with the letter "C".  She is facing her battle donning a monkey-faced skull cap and cape, with confidence and slightly twisted humor. She is pulling strength from those around her, real and virtural world alike. This pooling of energy has left her focused on herself, in which I am happy, but also leaves her unable to write and enthrall me with stories of her bravery. I miss her.

There are other things too, stories which I do not wish to share here, that quite frankly, make me not want to leave the snugly warm covers of my bed. Coincidences, and situations, that force me to reevaluate my own choices and endeavors.

It's is supposed sink into the 20's tonight.  The weather men are talking about the possibility of snow as well.  Not more than a dusting, that is sure to be gone my daybreak.  My Sunday is already over scheduled, joyously filled with my Dad's 60th birthday party at noon, and then on to the super sized Football festivities of the evening.  Which of course, are magnified by the fact that it is "our" team playing. I want to do these things. I know I will have a good time, because of the people who will surround me.

But right now, all I want is clean sheets, a giant cup of cocoa, my Kindle, and a heating pad for my back.

Truth Is Thursday...

Truth is.... I completely forgot it was Thursday until I saw Frisky V, Not So Simply Single, and  All About My Boys and Skippy's posts at 8 pm tonight. I am a complete failure at my own blog carnival.

Truth is... The upcoming super bowl has put an otherwise productive week completely on hold.  Not because I'm watching or even looking forward to anything other than the food, but because it monopolizes the brain power and time of every male in my life.  Which, is the majority of important people in my life. *sigh*

Truth is... I really just don't have much to say, and since it's so late in the day, I'll just tell you to click the above links for some other great Thursday posts. :)

Don't forget about your chance to win free scrap booking software from 

Click here to see how....

FREE Stuff!!!!!

Really!

Can you believe it?

The folks over at My Memories contacted me to try their scrap booking software for FREE!  And hey, if it's FREE, it's for me.  Mkay, moving on.  I have been known to have made a scrap book or 13 two in my lifetime.  And while I love doing them, they are incredibly labor intensive and the embellishments alone can almost cost as much as the trip itself by the time I am done.  I will spend hours going back and forth to the craft store, pawing over every teeny tiny sticker, ribbon, or jeweled encrusted trinket that would be the perfect memento to complete my page.  And while Tony has supported my endeavors when it comes to say, memorializing our wedding day or our various family trips, creating such lavish books for the everyday excitement that is our lives, undoubtedly would make me us all insane.  And poor.  Very poor.


My solution to this was to download everyday photos into sites and have them bound into hardcover photo books.  They were nice, but offered little in the way of editing, embellishments, and decorative backgrounds.  So, when I checked out My Memories, I was excited to see the editing possibilities.

The download took about 30 minutes.  I'm sure those of you with a higher speed connection could complete the download faster, but hey, I'm a simple girl with DSL.

Upon opening the site, there are several prompts that ask you what you'd like to do.

The first time I was on the site, I will admit I was a bit lost.  I had to download additional papers and embellishments before I could get started.  I started with some of the free features, and then quite honestly, got frustrated and went to bed.  I don't do well with new technical processes, at all. I know, shocking.

The next day, I tried again and had a much better experience.  Not only can I edit photos, I can remove red eye, frame, highlight, shadow box, and overlay each picture exactly the way I'd like. I can add text, choose from tons of fonts and colors, and even curve the shape of it.  Tonight I decided to get a little creative and do a "before" page of the Boy Cave...

Now here's a great part.  I can print it on my computer or download it to their print shop and have the entire album sent to me in a book.  So, if I was the type of girl who actually paid attention to the amount of ink in her printer cartridge, and stocked good paper within it, I could print my own pages and just pop them in a book. I am not that kind of girl. So I just saved it to my hard drive.

(Yes, I know I can do better.
I've only been playing with it for a few hours.)

Now, upon further investigation, this software also has the capabilities of playing music, creating multi-media DVDs and even send it directly to an iPod for scrap booking on the go. I have yet to delve into this feature, but I suspect I will not be disappointed.

And here's the best part.... they gave me a coupon code to pass along.  It gives you a $10 discount on software and and additional $10 to spend on establishments! Simply use this coupon code....  STMMMS59533  at checkout.

Want a better deal?


ONE of my Pen Pals can get a copy of the entire software for FREE!  

Just visit My Memories, pick your favorite layout or paper pack, and  leave your choice in a comment below. On February 14th I'll randomly pick one of you to share the love with!

Of course, you can still comment, even if you're not up for the giveaway.

Mama loves her comment love.




PS... Please check here to see if you have the system requirements necessary to support the software.  I'd hate to blow up your computer, on Valentine's Day no less.

Monday Moment...

So....

How's your Monday going?

Diet Coke And ADHD...

Saturday

7am:  Drag butt out of bed.  Stumble to fridge and down what's left of the 2 liter of Diet Coke in an attempt to cut through the nastiness of swollen guck and post nasal drip that has taken over your head over the last two days.  Suddenly start to feel better.

Shower, dress, wrap birthday present for Oldest's friend's birthday party later.  Leave sticky note on to of gift with turn by turn direction for Tony for when and where he needs to take him today.  Have Tony read directions back to you, while mocking your morning handwriting.  Assess how important his help is for the day, and allow him to live. For now...

Load up the car with three weeks worth of trash.  Leave for work, but not before Tony hands you a packet to be mailed.  Drive to the transfer station, unload three weeks of trash from the car.

Drive to branch Post Office, surprise your friend by opening the back door of the building before she's open.  Convince her that you're not a crazed stamp thief, sit down and catch up. Realize that you've forgotten your checkbook and will have to wait until her window is open to mail your item.  Sit back down and  gossip until she officially opens for the day.

Go to work.  Down another Diet Coke. Cram 8.5 hour day into 5.25 hours.

Drive home.  Load car with 378 pounds of kitchen renovation crap. Drive to the other transfer station. Unload 378 pounds of tile, drywall, and insulation.  Polish off another 8 ounces of Diet Coke.

Drive to birthday party.  Pick up Oldest.

Drive to Walmart.  Make list before you go in and brave the masses. While inside, ask Oldest several times what's on the list to stay focused. Thank God that Oldest can read. Wait 30 minutes in line and decide while there, that most of your impulse buys are not necessary.  Have Oldest return them all over the store while you wait in line.  While paying, grab Cracker Jacks and another Diet Coke.

Return to car.  Notice you forgot the return that's been sitting the the car for two weeks. Decide it can wait for another day.  Become completely disappointed by the lack of quality in the prize in the Cracker Jack Box.  Drink another Diet Coke.

Drive to Craft Store.  Pick up pirate paint for mustaches for tomorrow's birthday party.

Drive home.  On the drive home realize you forgot the return for the craft store, also sitting in the car for the last two weeks.

Arrive home.  Sit down at the sewing machine.  Create this...

From a rolled up weeding dress, tossed in an attic 10 years ago.  Stick yourself several times with pins. Swear under breath.

Make dinner.  Notify Tony that there will be no meat balls with the spaghetti.  Take note of his sad face as he opts for tuna.

Iron Christening gown.  Decide to make bonnet to match.

Curse some more.  Stab yourself several more times.

Convince Oldest he should pick some chore chips since he is bored out of his mind.  Stand back and revel in the fact that he did a better job than you would have at most of the tasks he chose.

Put kids to bed.  Quickly rid house from the seqins and teeny tiny pearls that have now taken over every surface.  Decide to clean kitchen.  Get distracted by smell in fridge.  Clean out fridge.  Notice the countertops, get out the cleaner.  Notice how dirty the oven is.  Clean oven.  Notice the filth that has taken up residence in microwave, and clean that too.

Seriously rethink having this much Diet Coke in one day. Switch to Caffeene free, and pour yourself a glass.

Put away the bags of stuff you bought at Walmart.

Suddenly remember that a year ago a friend of a friend asked you to design some tattoos for her.  Sit down and draw them out.

One of nine designs.

Tuck them away to bring to work later in the week. In a place you'll definitely remember.

1am.... Go to bed. Sleep for 6 hours.  Wake up.  Swear off Diet Coke for life.

Turn on computer for the first time in two days.

Clean out 47 emails. Wonder how on Earth these companies got your email address anyway.

Rely on the residual  Diet Coke still coursing through your veins, and pray it gives you just enough energy to make it through Sunday.

Then remember that you're painting pitrate mustaches on the faces of 18 six year olds today.

Stumble to the fridge and get another Diet Coke.