Perception...

Last April, a friend of mine and her twenty year old son were beaten down in their driveway by four masked men with a wrench and left for dead.  They lived in a nice house, in a decent part of town, are not wealthy, and for all intents, lived a very uncomplicated life.  So why did this happen to them? 

Perception.

She lived in a big house that she'd owned for over 20 years,  had several Jeeps always parked in the driveway because her husband's a mechanic, and her son uses marijuana that he has a prescription for.  All of these things made her appear to have money.  The big house, the Jeeps, the husband's predominately cash business.  Her son's medical conditions allowed him a perscription for pot.  And that's what these four Men were after.  Money and lots of drugs.  Neither of which this family has.  In fact, her son didn't even have any pot in the house.  But after the fact, that didn't matter to the assailants.  They wanted them dead.  Over a misguided perception.

My friend will never be the same.  But they are alive because of her 15 year old's fear and instinct to run away.  The men didn't "finish the job" because they thought he was going to call the police. His instinct to run to safety saved all of their lives.  I bring this up because yesterday Dan  over at "Single Guy Laughing"  wasn't laughing.  Instead he posted something about an infectious disease called "Perfection".  Although  a very long post, it made me think.  A LOT.  And I found that for me, it's less about Perfection and more about Perception.  Perfection implies that there's an obtainable goal, however unrealistic that may be, to work towards.  Perception is knowing that you don't, and may never be able to obtain that goal, so you make it appear that you've achieved it.

I see this everyday at work.  Because if you want to know what's really going on  who else do you ask than the mail person?

I'm going on a great trip to the Caribbean this week, so I need to hold my mail.  On Sunday you can redeliver it... along with the three Certified mailings from the mortgage company since I'm six months behind.

I'm standing at the door to a small apartment with a Corvette and an F250 in the driveway, when the gentleman pulls up on his brand new Harley Davidson.... just in time for him to sign for his Court summons for non payment of child support. 

Dogs outside, kids playing in the yard, owner says, "Oh don't worry, MY dog would never bite"... later that evening you're nursing 42 stitches because her dog did.

The Pastor and I  have been happily married for 12 years.  He's such a traditional and romantic man. It's how we keep the romance alive...  as well as the multitude of sex toys and videos I deliver only on Wednesdays when your helping out at the soup kitchen and can't get the mail.

Generally speaking, we are all guilty of this to some degree.  Especially now, with the invention of such social networks like chat rooms and Face book. Quick show of hands please... Who's got a Face book friend who has posted "How much they love their kids", or how "Amazing their boyfriend is"?  Most of us do.  Because we all know people who want to make their life's Perception to better than what it is. 

Blogging is another one of these "white lying" forums.  When I first started the Rent-a-hubby noted how I could spin my life in any direction.  On line, I could be who ever I wanted to be.  I can make up a crazy fictitious name, heck, I could clip art pictures of people and call them my family.  I could paint as pretty a picture as I wanted. 

But I didn't.

Here's the thing.  We all want things we can't have, or make it seem like we have it all together.  We all want to be that person that people look at and say "I wish my life was like theirs, I would do anything just to live one day in their shoes".  There's nothing wrong with that.  But don't we all feel better when we're validated in our struggles?  When we're having the worst, most craptastic day ever and we start to read other's experiences about the same things? 

And this is why I don't candy coat things. Unless it's a cupcake. 

You can read any of my "Fridge Worthy Posts"  and see how much I love my kids and family.  But, daily you can read about my struggles with being a single Mom, having  two sons with severe ADHD or the youngest's struggles with Autism Spectrum.  I have written posts about coupon clipping and struggling with the boy's dead beat father.  If you stay with me long enough, you may even hear about my dealings with the Family Probate Court System and the stupidity of DOR's Child Support Enforcement division. Now, that's an adventure. 

My point is, parenthood, marriage, life, money, death... its' not all fun and games.  Nor is it easy, simple, or glamorous.  And while I do actually love the life I'm now living, a lot of the time it sucks.  Some days I just don't have it in me to make small talk at the mail box, cook another dinner, or deal with my boys when their being... well... donkey butts. 

That's why I only read and follow blogs and posts that are REAL.

And, that is why I have my own blog.

About my perfectly imperfect life.

And my perception of it.