By February she was gone. Some days I forget she's not here. But then I remember, and I miss her even more. She flies first class now, wherever she wants, and I have to believe that Heaven has free internet access to answer any question she ever has.
In March I began writing again, journaling my everyday thoughts and events. The harsh reality hit me that while my Grammie's life was long, it can all be over in an instant. I may not be able to leave my sons a huge inheritance, but I can leave them a legacy of words. My youngest son turned 8 in March. He had a Mad Scientist themed party that spanned three days, involved multiple cakes, and Mentos rockets exploding in the back yard.
In April we stepped back in time and lived without television for two weeks. And computers. And DS. And Wii. And we lived to tell about it. The house was quiet, peaceful. There was so much less stress. Sometimes secretly, I wish they'd do something to get grounded again. My electric bill went down $24 that month.
In May I had Poison Ivy. Really. The. Whole. Month.
In June we spent the month in the water. At the pond, escaping to the beach. Basically, if it was free and we could pack a cooler, we were there. We experimented even more in the garden. And I got even more Poison Ivy. I became a Nacho Cheese fugitive, but I won't talk about that, for fear of incriminating myself.
In July I killed another cactus. Our family had another all too close call with cancer, and while she is cancer free now, Almost-Mae-In-Law gave us all quite a scare. My last remaining grandparent was the picture of health and going to lunch with my Mom right after he updated his will, and while in the chair at the lawyer's office, passed away. Only you Grampy. As the torches were passed, my parents became the grandparents, and I was no longer a grand daughter. A shock to the family, true colors began to show themselves, and our large extended family will most likely never be the same.
In August we squeezed every last minute summer time fun activity in that we could. Water parks, Six Flags, The NE Aquarium, county fairs. You name it, we engulfed ourselves in it. Partly because of everything that had gone on around us, and partly because we knew that winter would soon be on us and days of lying in the sun, taking in a ball game, and eating cotton candy would soon be a distant memory. We spent a lot of time doing family things, and I came to accept that the family that Rent-A-Hubs and I had created was really good, even if we never married. We were family just the same. And then, on the last day of August, after putting the kids to bed, he asked me if I thought we were getting good at this family thing. When I replied (in full sarcasm I might add) "Yes", he simply said, "Really... So will you marry me?"
And he brought me to tears.
In September I became the Mom of a 3rd and 4th grader. The new school year has brought many, many challenges. Much of the wedding plans were laid out, my dress was designed, sewn, and is awaiting it's final fitting. The new challenges of balancing work and school schedules has proven much more difficult with my youngest son's new defiance of all authority. God gives us only what we can handle, but I feel he's totally overestimated me this time.
In October I turned 36. I reflected a lot on money, my childhood, where I was, how I got here, and how blessed I really am. My son decided he wanted to live in a box, sleep in a box, play video games in a box. So I got him one. The box now has shelves, a combination safe, battery powered lights, and a Christmas tree. It also houses comfy blankets, a pillow, and a bean bag chair. Remarkably, there's still room for him in the box as well. I also ran away with almost Hubs for the weekend. It had been over a year since Almost Hubs and I had gotten away for 24 hours. It was a much needed retreat, cut all to short by the 24 hour time frame and pangs of missing the kids.
November was a month like no other, every minute jam packed with something. From a bathroom remodel still in progress, to whirlwind surprise trips for the kids to Washington DC, we rolled right into Thanksgiving without even blinking. If I hadn't recorded any of it, the whole month may have been lost forever from my sleep deprived memory. Except for one thing. My oldest turned ten. An entire decade. Where does the time go?
December came up fast, and I find myself with only two short days left. Work is stressful as always this time of year, added to it is the uncertainty of job security and inclement weather. Snow is plentiful so far this year, which would be wonderful if I had some time to enjoy it once and a while. Christmas was a whirlwind of gifts, crazy relatives, and cranky people. All of which were over shadowed by smiles on the boys faces, excited screeches of gifts finally opened, and some much needed reconnecting time with Almost Hubs. That and really good food.
As I sit here typing, truth be told, I am amazed at how fast the year has gone by. I have had to reflect back on many of my old posts to write this. When I started this, I intended it to be a fun way to share things with my children. I did not expect it to become a chronicle of who I am. Yet, last night I ordered "Volume One" from Blog 2 Print to safely tuck away in the hope chest.
2011 holds so many new chances for adventure, challenges, and dreams...
So tonight I will toast to all of you, and the next 365 new days....
to perfect the art of living
gift cards. Homemade cocoa kits tucked into mugs, and home made toffee that you would give your left arm for. Seriously. It's that good. I have picked up donations for the Humane Society for our animal loving carriers. I have picked up hand knitted scarves and hats from elderly women who worry that we're not dressed warm enough. And, yes, in case you were wondering, that card that your kids made the mail lady when they were 6, is probably still hanging up on their case back at the office.
which involves many, many scenes revolving around food. But, it's not just about the food, it's what accompanies the food. Aromas. Sides. Wine parings. Friends. Memories. Comfort. Self Indulgence. Watching the film, I rewinded 12 years, to my trip to Rome. Suddenly, I was there with Liz, played by Julia Roberts, indulging in the pasta. Slurping up every butter drenched hand made noodle and bit of homemade sauce in the only way it could be truly enjoyed. Unashamed and indulging with no worry of calories or fat content. Just pure bliss resonating in my mouth, filling my belly, comforting my spirit.