Sunday, December 11, 2011

Not In The Plan...

I had all kinds of funny posts today.

Things the kids said.

Things Tony said.

And once again it was all trumped by the ex husband.

The ex husband who felt last night, two weeks before Christmas, seven days before his next visit with Oldest, and 12 days from an extra visit scheduled for the boys to see him for his fortieth birthday, was the perfect night to mix a large amount of pills with an unknown liquid and swallow them down.  He is after all, invincible, right?

Wrong.

I am left here tonight, trying to figure out how to tell the kids.

And as it seems, the man who finished nothing on his own, actually did get divorced from his second wife, therefore leaving me (as the boy's guardian) the next of kin.

Seems it's my job to release the body to the family.

It's gonna be another great week.

23 Survival Tips:

  1. Oh. My. God.

    I have nothing to say that will help.
    I can't tell you I'm sorry he's out of your life, though.

    (((Hugs)))

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  2. Oh no..... sorry to hear this. What a thing to have to tell your sons. My heart goes out to you.

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  3. Oh no......no no no no no....

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  4. Never an easy thing to do.
    Will keep y'all in my thoughts.

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  5. OH man, so sorry! What a horrible thing to happen to your kids and to you! Many hugs!

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  6. It's always the kids that suffer. sighhhhhh

    Mean of him to do this to his sons. Selfish SOB.

    (((hugs)))Pat

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  7. The only consolation for the children in all this will be you, strong as always and loving them so much. It won't be easy for them but having you and Tony around will help the healing. Big hugs from me to you. So sorry you have to deal with this.

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  8. Thanks to you all. We told them quick, and as honest as possible. It will be day to day, but in the end, they will be ok.

    And Ami - I agree. It was quite the rollercoaster he had us all on, just a shock when it suddenly comes to a full stop.

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  9. Julianna we went through this 5 years ago, but my ex decided Christmas Eve would be an even better choice to do it. I got the phone call at 8 am on the 24th.

    I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, but I am sure that with all the love and support in your home [and the fact that the ex was rarely around when he was supposed to be] will go a long way in getting the children through this.

    If you want to chat/email - you know where to find me.

    Please don't let this ruin your Christmas - we divorced them and remarried for a reason. You are going to find [from what you have told us] that you are better off without him around. I never wished my ex dead, and cried when I found out [more for my kids's sake] but it has been so quiet and peaceful since he has been gone.

    Good luck. I am here if you need me. Hugs my friend.

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  10. Skippy - UGH. It will not ruin Christmas. It just won't. We will take it bit by bit and they will get to a peaceful place in their own time.

    Over the years, and all the craziness, we have surrounded ourselves with an extensive support system. SO in all honesty, the boys have every important person available to them at all times.

    They are strong, just like their Momma.

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  11. I am speechless right now. My heart goes out to your children. And to you. Although he obviously was not a good father to them, I know this will bring them grief and heartache.

    Though it seems they are blessed to have an incredibly strong mother in you.

    In my prayers...

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  12. I'm so sorry! I know that you and Tony will be exactly what your boys need right now.

    ((HUGS))

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  13. I'm so sorry for your boys. What a tough time of the year for this to happen.

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  14. Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you and yours.

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  15. On the one hand there is a huge sense of relief that the roller coaster has stopped, but then you see the path of destruction it has caused racing down the track. In the end, your boys will be better off not having to deal with the never ending question of whether or not their dad will show this time. Big hugs go out to you and thank God you have your rock, Tony, to stand by you and hold you all.

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  16. Holy hell no way! I'm so sorry for your kids..I'm sorry that you have to tell them and deal with all this. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers girl.

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  17. Julianna, I'm so sorry. Although he was a jerk, he was the father of your children, and that's very important. I wish you well and I pray for you, always, everyday.

    Love,
    Lola

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  18. Oh my! I am SO sorry. None of it seems really fair does it? And as much of a pain as he has been, it's hard not feel sorry for him. He had to have ben pretty miserable and desperate. I am so sorry you have to deal with this right now.

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  19. Julianna, I just sent you an email. If you have a chance, please look at it and tell me what you think. If I don't hear from you, I'll use a different post tomorrow. Maybe I'll just use a different post anyway.

    Love,
    Lola

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  20. Such a sad and selfish thing to do to his kids. I am so sorry for your families loss and the fact you have to deal with all this at this busy and emotional time of the year.
    Stay strong sweet lady and take care of yourself and your kids.
    Sending hugs

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  21. Oh my gosh! I am just now reading this! I don't know how I missed it. I am so sorry that you and the boys have to go thru this! I'm so glad they have you and Tony!
    I am out of words, this is mind boggling!

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  22. Oh, my friend. I am so sorry! What a horrible nightmare for you all. I cannot believe that. What a mess. Hang in there.

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  23. Wow. Just wow. Hugs to you all for dealing with this (and dealing well, as I've already read your taking the boys to spread the ashes).

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