Four!

Gina over at My Own Brand Of Crazy tagged me for my four favorites. 

Who knew she'd be so interested in little old me?

So anyway, here they are...

Four Places I Go:

Well, for Nine months out of the year, this is my schedule...

1. The Elementary School
2. Work
3. Back To The School, Then To The Boys & Girls Club, Then Back To The YMCA at the school
4. Walmart almost every day...

Four Smells I Love:

1. Fabric Softener Sheets
2. Salt Air at high tide, thanks...
3. Baby Shampoo especially when the boys are snuggling right after a shower..
4. My Lilac Bush in full bloom

Four Favorite TV Shows:

1. Vampire Diaries no hurtful comments please...
2. House
3. Phineas & Ferb
4. Mike & Molly

Four Favorite Movies:

1. Princess Bride  in-con-ceivable...
2. Neverending Story
3. Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
4. 40 Year Old Virgin

Four Recommendations:

1. Live your life, don't rent your lifestyle...
2. Be the friend, a friend would like to have...
3. Swing on the swings at the park...
4. Never. Diet. Again. Enjoy every last morsel in moderation...


I'm not going to tag anyone specifically but I am interested to know...

What's your Four?

Truth Is I'm Thankful...

Thankful for... my old boss coming back tomorrow.  He's the known "evil".

Truth is...  I'm terrified that he'll never hire another new hire, and I'll never see another day off again. Not that I'm getting any now...

Truth is... I'm loving the thunder storm we're having right now...

Thankful for...  it not being tornadoes.

Truth is... there was a murder/suicide about two miles from my home a few days ago. While I know this happens everyday, I am still a bit taken back that it happened so close to home.

Thankful for... things not being that bad in my home.

Truth is... I really need a nap.

Thankful for... my kids not needing one.  The day moves so much better when they're well rested.

Truth is... I've high jacked Almost Hubs computer to write this.

Thankful for... his leaving it here by accident

Truth is... I got this from Kimberly, who reads and comments on almost every post, and for that I am very Thankful.

The Quest Continues....

I have been trying to balance Motherhood with reality for, oh, about 10 years now.  You know, balancing the joys and fun things of Motherhood, with the inability to pay for it all.  So, in my never ending quest to make additional money, I have looked into some very unconventional methods.
Like selling my blood. More specifically, my blood plasma. After doing significant research on the subject I have discovered several things.  First, the needle they use is actually thicker than the regular IV used to draw blood.  It's thicker because they have to syphon your blood out into a collection area of a machine. The machine then spins it, separating the blood and plasma, and then recirculates the separated blood back into your body.  The article went on, but I'll spare you the details since the whole process made me nauseous just reading about it.  So, Yeah, I'll pass..

Then there was this article in Wired magazine when they gave the best tips on smuggling heroin and cocaine into the country.  And while I must admit, the thrill of a high speed life with all-too-hot henchmen is very appealing on the movie screen, the reality of coordinating day care for when the ships would need to be unloaded would be a pain in the butt to schedule.  This is the same article that also gave tips for picking winning scratch tickets off the roll. Bear with me, I'm still working on this one.

So, the other day as I was thumbing through a parenting magazine, I came across another "Top ten ways to make extra cash fast" article.  And, although I have already covered, and passed on, the top nine ways, the last one was actually something I'd never considered.

Online tutoring.

Don't laugh, I'm being serious.

I was a Calculus tutor in college.  I also tutored English As A Second Language.  Shocked?  Yeah, I know.  Thankfully, I was never a writing tutor, or we'd have a whole lot of folks writing in run on sentences, using far too many commas, and with computer screens screaming red squiggly lines throughout cyberspace.

Anyway, I worked off some of my tuition as a Calculus and ESL tutor. I was really good at it. I even had students who requested me, and came on a regular schedule because I could explain it better to them than their professors.  So, when I saw an online option, I was genuinely intrigued. 

Through the beauty of the internet, I found this company.  They seem good, reputable, and they have very specific requirements for their tutors.  Requirements that I don't really have, so my quest for the ever elusive perfect second job will continue on.  Thankfully, Youngest has inherited my natural gifted abilities for Math and Science.  Oldest, not so much.  And, while they may not hire me as a tutor, I may keep them bookmarked for the years to come, when I am in desperate need for a quantum physics or a biology tutor.

Because, while I can explain functions, graphs, exponents, and roots of variables, the only thing I remember about biology was making DNA strands from gumdrops and toothpicks, and the all-too-hot guy who sat next to me.

How To Tuesday...Not So Hot-N-Steamy...

This week's post is super easy.



For some more, or less, complicated posts, click on the blue box to visit Christie and all her friends.

Don't you just hate that the mirror gets all steamed up when you're in the shower?

No? Okay... feel free to skip this one....

Anyway...

Take one of these...

It doesn't have to be the gel kind, the regular foam shaving cream from the dollar store will work just fine.

Squirt some on a paper towel.... 

This is way too much, you only need a little.

Rub it on the mirror...

Then wipe it off until the mirror comes clean....

Take a shower, and enjoy a free and clean mirror in which to admire yourself and all your gorgeousness.

As a bonus, in doing this post, Almost Hubs exited the shower that night, saw the heart, and thought it was a secret message for him. 

He felt special...

Who was I to argue?

Not An Easter Post...

Sometimes I really wish I was one of those people who could just print out an invitation on the computer and be done with things.

But no.

I have never been one of those people.

Take this invitation...

For my Youngest's Mad Scientist Birthday party.

It's alien goo in a flask. Inside is a test tube with the invitation imprinted on a tissue paper scroll. I threw stamps on them and mailed them just like that.  No box or envelope, just a flask in their mailbox labeled "Hazardous Toxic Alien Goo".

So, It should come as no surprise that my wedding invites would be a bit different.

I had all these fabulous ideas...

...and no money to fund them.

So finally, after months of playing with designs, I came up with this...

Each guest will receive a brown paper wrapped package in their mailbox...

Inside they will find their "passport"....

And their "tickets", inscribed with their names, and punched with hearts of course...

Then the formal invite... with dates and times....

The beginning of the menu....

The entree selections... and response envelope...

Attire and directions to where we are....

Almost Hubs thinks the map is super dorky (click on it to see the datails)... and that's why he's marring me. It folds up and fits in a pocket similar to the front ticket pocket. 

I made the cover of the passports from dark blue mat board, pirated some of last years brochures from the train company for the logo, and hand stamped postage insignias in gold metallic paint. The inside covers are an old world style scrapbook paper of old postcards. The books and pages are bound with binding tape, then sewn, yes, in the sewing machine, for reinforcement. The front page, and actual invite are printed on velum and fastened with heart shaped brads.  The rest of the invite is done in off-white card stock, cut to size.  The corners were all hand punched and then hand embossed as well. The map I created on Picnik, it took a while, but all and all I think it came out Okay.

The hardest part?

Translating it into Portuguese for Almost's Mom.

I did the invite and the first page... then gave up on the rest. She can read English, but I know she'll love that I tried to interpret it for her.

They go out in the mail sometime next week....

...125 days and counting....

For anyone who's new here and wants to catch up on the wedding details...

Click here for the dress...

Here for the venue...

Here for the cakes...

Little White Pills...

Today marks the end of the second week in which Youngest has gone the entire vacation at camp with no issue.

None.

Not one fight, not one chair thrown, not one inappropriate comment.  He did not put anyone in a headlock, fashion "weapons" from straws, or threaten anyone with safety scissors. And, while this makes me happy beyond words, I am also saddened.

On the one hand he is finally fitting in.  He can make friends, enjoy himself, and get lost in the experiences of camp like every other kid who attends.  I can go to work without worrying every second that my phone will ring and I will have to abandon my day, find alternate care, and scramble to salvage the rest of the work day.  By Thursday of this week, I was actually breathing easier.  Running the route became more of a slow jog, and the constant knot of stress was gone as I had no 3pm deadline to meet.  No "ideal" time in which he should be picked up, no guilt about stopping at the grocery store first for those last minute things.

Youngest says he's getting older, that he's learning to control his anger and frustration all on his own.  I will never take that away from him, but I know the real reason.

His new medication.

I hate that my kids need medication.  I have fought the doctors their whole lives.  Oldest is on a non-conventional ADHD medicine.  He was, at one point, on another medication that we called "the yellow pills".  Thing was, they sucked all his personality out of him.  Yes, he is wired for sound all the time.  Yes, he asks a million questions, has quirks, and inappropriate moments.  But that is what makes him him. His current medication only stops his body from over producing excess adrenaline, therefore allowing him to slow down, sit in a chair (most of the time) and hear what people are saying. His yellow pills are still on top of the microwave.  Where they will stay until someone gives me a bona fide reason my son needs to be a zombie.

But Youngest is different.  Youngest's medication is for mood disorders.  His original diagnosis was Autism Spectrum, and while a few things still pop up now and then, he now presents with anxiety comparable to that of Tiger Woods in divorce court. And so, his medication is a mood stabilizer.  Part of me wanted this to not work.  Part of me wanted to know that my baby did not in fact have bi-polar, schizophrenia, manic depression etc.  What parent would want that?

And part of me did.

Part of me wanted to know what the problem was/is so I could fix it.  So that he could stop feeling like he was not OK.  That he was not different.  In the end, this medication seems to be working.  His doctors won't begin to diagnose him with a specified mood disorder, but given the positive direction found with this run of medication, the initial diagnosis seems to have much more merit.  In addition, his father recently announced that he has been diagnosed with Bi-polar and severe depression for the last 3 years.

Three years... wouldn't that have been nice to know?

For years I have fought to keep my boys off medications. I have tried many, many holistic answers. And while many of these have worked, I have conceded to the all mighty pill.

Part of me feels like a failure. 

Like I have failed them both by taking the easier way out.

But when I picked them both up tonight, I could see by their smiling faces, regardless of how I still felt about it...

I had made the right decision.

Truth Is... Wait... What Day Is It?

Truth is... it's Thursday.

Really it is.  I know, because when I walked into work this morning I had not one, but two, glorious grocery fliers to deliver today.  Oh, how I just love grocery flier day...

Truth is... I've discovered why it appears as though I've lost my mind posted my "Thursday" posts on Wednesday.  Seems that when I post at 12:01 AM my time, it shows up on the west coast at 9 PM.  So, there you have it.  All my west coast peeps like Kimberly, you're just getting a sneak peek at what's to come.  From here on out, to avoid confusion I'll post at 6:01 AM, that should get me on the correct day for most of you, but....

Truth is... my posting "Friday Fling" on Wednesday? That was totally me being an idiot  completely over tired. 

Truth is... I've begun to wrap my head around the projects going on in the backyard.  There's a plan, and a time line for execution.  That's all I ask.

Truth is... I have 5 dozen eggs in the fridge. Almost's Mom loves to get us farm fresh eggs.  I love this, really I do, but a girl can only eat so many omelets.

Truth is... I have begun the sugar detox early.  Feel bad for Almost Hubs and the kids... they're keeping their distance.

Truth is...  Thanks to my guest post over at "The Adventures Of Cinderita", I have a whole bunch of new people to stalk follow.  What?  You don't know Rita?  Well, go!  It's OK... I'll share her.

Truth is... I love Almost Hubs, but we seriously need to work on our communication skills. I assume that he will follow through on something... and he assumes I'll leave him a note.  Hm, I guess this is the beauty of living together...

Truth is... we still don't live together.  Yes, he's here almost every day.  Yes, I have more Jeff Gordon memorabilia than the State of Massachusetts allows in one location in my office.  Yes, he has taken over every outside beautification project the town will allow at my house. I do his laundry, he pays some of the house hold bills, shuttles the kids wherever, grocery shops, and paints.  But No.  He's still adamant that he hasn't moved in yet. Mmmkay...

Truth is... Youngest thinks that Einstein was the smartest man ever becasue he was born on 3/14.  When I asked why, he said because he's "pie".  What?  "He was born on pi, Ma... 3.14.  Duh!"

Well Duh?!?

Sometimes I just don't get stuff.

Friday Fling...

There I said it...

I'm having a fling...

...with another blog.

The lovely Cinderita asked me to do a guest blog for her.

What?  You don't know Rita? 

How could you not?

She gives out free hugs and everything!

Anyway...  I'll be visiting over there today... 

Feel free to stop by and stalk her as well.

She loves stalkers.

And if by chance you're here from her page stalking me...

Welcome!

If you'd like to get to know me, click on any of the page tabs above.

You can even put yourself in pictures....

-J

One Thing At A Time Please...

I'm not gonna lie here.

I am fabulous at multitasking.

Really... it's true.

But lately I've been feeling overwhelmed.  Really overwhelmed.

Why? You ask?

Because Almost Hubs has far to many projects going on right now.  Projects that, while they are his, rely on my doing something to get them done.

Take this...

It's my car sitting in the driveway.  Or rather, my old car.  We have 3 people looking at it this week to possibly buy it.  Now, I'm content with letting it sit in the garage for a while longer, but I no longer can.

Why?

Because of this...

Almost Hubs's pile of wood that now occupies the garage, preventing the car from being once again properly stowed.  The wood is for the remainder of the fence we started last fall.  Now, while I am thrilled that the wood for the fence is here and is slated for this weekend, I also have this....

....the mulch that is waiting for the flowerbeds....

  They can't be done until the edging is bought, and that can't be installed until we start the lawn.  And then there's this....

...the hole, with leg breaking potential, at the bottom of which is the lid to my septic tank.  The septic tank which needs to be pumped and cleaned, before we put in the new lawn, for the low, low price of $260 I don't have.  And, we can't do the new lawn until we get the dirt.  The "good dirt" will cost about $100 to have it delivered, and we'll need  to put it in the driveway until we rototill the existing lawn.  AND that can't happen until I can move the old car.

Are we seeing a pattern here?

We can't rototill behind the garage until the old chain link fence is properly recycled at the dump.  Which can only be done in my car since that is the car that the sticker is linked to. Almost Hubs can't drive that car because he's 6'2" and I barely fit in the car at 5'4". Which means that only I can do it, and only on a Tuesday or a Thursday when they are open.

Did I mention that Almost Hubs is sick?

Yup.

So, yeah. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Add to this that I still have all the regular stuff going on, Easter, and oh, yeah... a wedding that's coming up.

I did manage to install a new counter here on the blog though...

Go look!  It's up there in the corner...

Now I have a constant reminder of how fast the wedding's approaching.

So I can have my nervous breakdown on time, and as scheduled.

How To Tuesday... Less Than Stellar Parenting Tip...

I would like to go on record here as saying that this is not the best piece of parenting advice I have ever divulged.

I actually have no great parenting advice, since I am really just flying by the seat of my pants here, hoping that by some miracle I can raise two human beings, a little less dysfunctional than myself.

Anyway...

My children don't get an allowance.

I believe that there are things that you do within the home simply because you are part of a family.

Therefore, there is no weekly allowance for doing things such as making their bed, vacuuming, clearing their dishes from the table, cleaning their rooms, or taking out the trash.

However, A little while back I decided to try to give them an allowance with a twist.

Youngest used to hate getting dressed.  Getting out of the house on time was a HUGE ordeal.  Epically huge.
So, I told him that if he got dressed everyday within 30 minutes of getting up, at the end of the week I would give him a dollar.

He loved this idea... and within 10 weeks, it became a habit. 

He was $10 richer, and I was getting out of the house on time.

Once he was doing this regularly, and without prompting, I moved on to the next thing... dental care.

Both boys are horrible at brushing their teeth.

It's tragic really. 

So again, I told them that for every 14 times they brushed, they'd receive $1.

Two weeks later, their smiles are whiter, and I no longer have to nag them about it.

So there you have it.

I admit it.

I pay my children to be better people.

Judge if you must... but $1 a week is so much cheaper than a root canal.

Click here....



...To visit Christie and a whole bunch of people who have much better ideas than I do.

Really, visit.

You'll learn something awesome, I swear.

I Am So Awesome...

Youngest:  "Awe... dang."
Me: "Battery dead?"
Youngest: "Almost"
Me: "Hold on..." (pulling car over)
Youngest: "You have the car charger?"
Me: "Yup.  Who's the best Mom ever?"
Youngest: "Well.... I can't really say, because I haven't actually met all the Moms in the entire world..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: "Sorry, Bud... No."
Oldest: "You're being so unfair!!!"
Mme: "Yes, I know, I'm the worst Mom ever."
Oldest: "No you're not."
Me: "Yes. I am."
Oldest: "But I didn't say that.  You're a good Mom."
Me: "The answer's still No."
Oldest: "You're so unfair!" (

stomps off)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oldest:  "Mom. Dad says I'm becoming just like you."
Me: "Hm.  Well, I pay my bills and work hard.  I am good to people, have lots of friends, and follow the law.  I have never been to jail and I keep my promises."
Oldest: "Yeah?"
Me: "Well, then if you are like me, then maybe that's not such a bad thing."
Oldest: "Yeah, but he said it like it was a bad thing."
Me: "Is that because Dad doesn't say nice things about me?"
Oldest: "No. Sometimes he says nice things."
Me: "Like what?"
Oldest: "I can't remember."
Youngest: "Yeah, I can't remember either.  I can remember some of the bad stuff though.  But there's not enough time to tell you all that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Co-worker: "Hey, you know what I was thinking?"
Me: "That I'm awesome?"
Co-worker: "Ah...Sure...."
(smiles)
Co-worker: "Seriously, you know what I was going to ask you?"
Me: "How I got so awesome and fabulous?"
Co-worker: "Yeah... that and..."
Me: "You have no idea how Almost Hubs can handle all of my hot, sexy fabulousness?"
(laughs)
Co-worker: "Damn, now what was I going to ask you to do?"

Works every time...

April 15th...

This is the kind of weekend that taxes won't be paid.

The kind of weekend when my living room becomes a full sized basketball court, and  my kitchen becomes a Chemistry lab.

One where I sneak off for a much needed facial, but only after I have located and delivered a much loved baseball mitt for some late afternoon base ball games.

The kind of weekend when bulbs will be planted, lawns will be edged, and boys will plant seeds with the hopes of growing beanstalks that will stretch to a new universe, or even a new tree house.

It will be briefly interrupted by birthday cake and bowling for Youngest, and a good mystery novel for Oldest.

If the rain sets in, there will be a movie for three with popcorn loaded with M&Ms and lots of butter.

Ice cream will be waiting for Youngest as he returns home from visiting his father.

Fences will be built, floors will be mopped, cars may be sold.

The yard will smell of freshly laid mulch, and the home will smell of freshly folded laundry.

The cat will nap, and so will I.

This will be a good weekend.

One that's not spent paying taxes...

Truth Is Thursday...

Truth is... I think it's hysterical that Oldest thinks Manny Ramirez quit baseball because his drug test was positive for Altoids.  Yes, Altoids... the curiously strong mint.

Truth is...  I am totally tired of fighting with my ex-husband over every.... little.... thing. 

Truth is... I'm a bit disappointed that NO ONE in my home noticed I got my braces off.  It's further proof, that no matter what age they are, no man looks at my face.

Truth is... I am taking Youngest to McDonald's for dinner to celebrate his fantastic behavior in class today.  When his classroom Aide got excited for him, and asked if she could come, he smiled and said "Yeah but only if Mom buys."

Truth is... I love my laundry chute. Drop the door and swoosh... away go the clothes. Until I go downstairs and the pile stretches clear through two levels of the house. Then, it is the portal to Hell.

Truth is... this is my final week on refined sugar. 

This should serve as fair warning to all who encounter me.

Stay at least an arm's length away, or you may get stabbed with a fork.

Just sayin'...

Tuesday Randomness...

Well, it's Tuesday.

At least I think it is anyway, but lately Blogger seems to like to hold all my brilliant ramblings in draft forever, so by the time this posts it may be Friday.  Add to that, the craziness that all the wind is doing to my internet service, and you may not hear from me until Sunday.

Life has been a bit random lately.  And hectic.  And chaotic.  And cranky. So I'm also participating in...

RANDOM THOUGHT TUESDAY!

Which is temporarily being held over at Stacy Uncorked, while the Un-Mom's busy plotting world domination.  I would have included the fun button she has, but my lap top's rebelling again. Head on over to find other ADHD people like myself...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have had a birthday party every weekend for the last 3 weeks and we have still another 3 coming. That's a whole lot of gift buying....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The weather has gotten better, and the kids are outside playing more outside.  Seems while Almost Hubs were ready to kill each other working together planting and planning the yard scape, Youngest got into something that didn't like him.  By 8pm Sunday, his arms were covered, by morning his chest, by noon, his legs.  He's looking quite festive with his pink polka dotted attire.  Good thing I still have a lifetime supply of poison ivy cream from last year's 6 month ivy-palooza.  See here ... and here....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oldest has become a audible jukebox of noise lately.  I can not begin to imagine what goes on in that head of his, or why he feels so compelled to make sound effects for everything.  But he does.  I really feel like it's his way of making sense from the chaos in his brain.  It's just another part of the wonderment that is Oldest.  Mostly though, it's so completely annoying I want to jab chopsticks in my ears.  Really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Court was today... I'll complain about that later.

Good news though... court let out at 11am so I managed to contact the train coordinator, secure the gazebo for the ceremony, pay the photographer, and pick up my retainer at the orthodontist., which the boys think looks like tooth skeletons.

Should I also mention that Almost Hubs and I did lunch AND I still managed to fit in tea with one of my best girlfriends?

Why yes, I am awesome...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wedding invitations have come so far over the last ten years.  Gone are the days of going to the store, selecting fonts, papers, etc.  Now a days, you can sit in your jammies and point and click your way to the perfect invite.

Not me.

No.

I must hand craft  invitations for my guests that will be like nothing they have ever seen.

And by the time I'm done with these stinking things... I won't want to see them either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost Hubs has decided to take all his manly frustration creative genius out on the lawn.  Normally, I'd be thrilled that he's taking on such a project.  Really... I would.  However, he's having hard time planning the time line of the project, nor is he planning one project at a time.  By fall I know I'll have the best lawn on the street. However, I have the sinking feeling that I'll have to live with mud for longer than I'd like. AND, I think I may have to insist again, that we find the septic lid before we do anything.  Nothing ruins the perfect lawn faster than septic back up.  That's a special kind o' stink...

But I have to admit, the flowers he twisted my arm into getting   took me shopping for last Saturday look beautiful.  And, if the dahlias come up like last year, they'll make the perfect bouquet for the wedding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the guys at work is interested in buying my old car.  I will miss her, but she needs a new home.  If he decides not to take her, I'll be donating her later this week.  Or not... I'm just not ready to let go... 

Which is crazy, because I don't hang on to anything.

OK.  That's all I have tonight...

I'm going to catch up on my reading...

I am so far behind on reading blogs that my dashboard is laughing at me...

How To Tuesday... The Hunt Is ON!

Easter Sunday is right around the corner.

I can envision it now.  The running of the bulls pitter patter of feet scrambling up the stairs.  The screaming  giggling and the thrill of the hunt.  Searching high and low and breaking all things in their path   for those elusive eggs.  Collecting them in their baskets, comparing fighting   who got what fantastic cheap surprise in each colorful plastic egg of goodness.

It always ends the same too, with the boys huddled around the coffee table, rationing their goodies and thanking me the bunny for his utmost generosity.

Yeah right.

It usually ends with someone in a head lock, screaming "IT'S NOT FAIR", and most likely at some point in the morning, some one's been crying.  And, that someone is usually me.

So...  this year, I'm taking the lead from my Mum, who has done this hunt for us as far back as I can remember.

First... buy plastic eggs. Big. Medium. Little.  Doesn't matter.

I found these awesome giant nesting style ones at Michael's crafts store. 

They're so cool. I even decorated them with scrapbook stickers.

Second... pick up your Easter goodies.

Third... get writing.  Create clues for each child (or both together) and the hunt is on...

I hang the first clue in the door way of the stairs to their room.  This way they're bound to see it right off...

That clue will lead them to the first eggs...

Each egg is labeled with a letter corresponding to their names, and contains goodies and another clue...

Which leads to another egg...

...and another clue.

Continue until they get to the last clue/egg and the jackpot!

In our case it's the largest egg... but it could be their basket, etc.

Get creative.  Make the clues rhyme, print them out on fun paper, make them specific to things that only they would know. 

But whatever you do, I guarantee they'll ask for your hunt....

....year after year.

  Got Ideas?

Click it!

The Time Has Come

I don't look in the mirror before I leave the house.

Honestly, I don't.

Most days I run around town with a pony tail donned on my head, glasses (not contacts), makeup free, t-shirt and jeans. 

So, the idea of indulging in orthodontia again was quite a shock to most that know me. Then, to spend the money, regardless of how much my misaligned teeth bothered me, was also a shock.  For Almost Hubs, who thinks I am near perfect anyway, while he supported any decision, felt it really unnecessary. Then the dilemma came of weather to just do the top, invisalign, whitening, etc.   But this was for me, and in the end, I did it.  I just did the top, as that was what bothered me the most, and I suddenly remembered why I hated them so much at 13.  Read more about that here...

There's so many things you have to learn to do differently, like eat soup or floss. Or, can't do at all, like whistle.

I now know why every teen is irritable and needs an instant attitude adjustment... after an adjustment.

What was new for me is that you can't use whitening toothpaste.

No big deal right?

Yeah. Try to find toothpaste that isn't whitening now a days.

Almost every toothpaste promises a whiter brighter smile in less than 10 days.  And, even the ones that don't advertise it, still have the ingredients in the tube.  It's almost as hard as finding food that's Gluten free.

So I was forced to use this all natural toothpaste, without baking soda. Orange flavored.

Yuck.

I even tried Youngest's watermelon kids paste.

While it's palatable, it does nothing for my not-so-fresh morning mouth. 

I like mint.  It makes me feel clean and fresh and... kissable.

So for six months I have gone without my minty freshness.

But at 2:30 pm I'll be busting out a new tooth brush, Crest with whitening speckles and Scope paste, and my 3D whitening mouthwash.  It promises a whole new dimension of clean.

Later in the week I'll be indulging in Crest White Strips.

Once again, I'll be minty fresh...

.... a whole new dimension of kissable clean.

Summer Buzz...

Youngest has now since out grown many of the traits that had him diagnosed within the Spectrum of Autism when he was younger.  Much of this is due to his Gluten free diet, and some, I suspect, has to do with his age.  Some days, it's hard to believe he was ever withdrawn, non-communicative, and non-social.  Other days, some traits still linger, pushed so far into the forefront of the day that I just know in my gut that what ever it is, no matter how irrational, needs to be handled NOW. 

Like yesterday, when he decided that his hair was too long.  He's been growing it out out for two years.  Two years.  He's finally got the "boys regular" he wanted for so long.  Now he thinks that it needs to be all the same length all the way around.  In a span of 12 hours, he went from getting a hair cut the next afternoon, to attempting to pull it out in clumps.  He was not hot.  He was not angry.  He just wanted less hair.

Which is why, at 7:15 in the morning, with no one in the entire house even remotely ready for school (in less than and hour), I dropped everything and gave him his summer buzz cut.

And then, he went about his day as if the last 24 hours of anguish never even happened.

And I am still cleaning up the hair.

The two years of his hair that now lay all over the bathroom floor...

...and the clumps of mine that I pulled out in desperation.

Parenting Lessons From Michael Jordan...

Youngest has to do a report on a famous person this week.  He chose Michael Jordan.  I had no idea he was such an eloquent, determined man.  While searching for famous quotes by him, this one in particular, struck a chord with me...

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.

I've lost almost 300 games.

26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.

I've failed over, and over, and over, again in my life.

And that is why I succeed."

I am not the mother I always thought I'd be.  I have always had unending patience with children.  I could understand them, reason with them.  I just "got" them.  I was never someone who yelled.  Never once lost my temper with a child.  Even in my twenties, while working for a company that enticed children to play and be loud, did I ever lose my patience or even roll my eyes.  Not when they were destroying my store.  Not when they were screaming the lyrics of their favorite song over the high-jacked loud speakers.  Not when they were flailing themselves on the floor, in full blown tantrum form, because the could not have what ever it was, at that very second.

And then, I had my children.  I was ready.  Way OVER ready.  I was 27 when Oldest was born.  I was 28 with Youngest.  It was all planned out.  I would stay home.  I would cook real meals, play with them, nurture them as a "full time" Mom.  I would give them the childhood I remember having, full of arts and crafts, comfort foods, and mud pies in the back yard.  I knew it would not all be good, but I envisioned more happy days than sad.  More positive memories than negative.  More talking, and less yelling. Spanking was not even an option. 

Ever.

I had not planned on the sleep deprivation,  or the physical inability to sit up after having two babies in 16 months, let alone walk for any distance.  A stroller ride in the park was out of the question for months, as I could barely get them in and out of the car myself.  Then there was the Postpartum Depression, feeling like nothing more than some one's next meal, and not recognizing my self in the mirror anymore. Then, all in one swoop, our family was separated, then permanently broken.  He left and I remained, to raise these two beautiful boys on my own.  Gone were my dreams of staying home.  Gone were my days of play dates and play dough.  And, a home cooked consisted of reheated meals from Mum's in the microwave.   

Over the years I have done the best I could to balance my reality of motherhood with my dreams of motherhood.   I try really hard to keep things together.  But more days than not, I find myself in time out, locking myself away, so as not to say or do something I'll regret later.  I have yelled far more than I care to admit.  Some days, it's just how I speak to them.  I can see how this wears on their little faces, the weight it dumps on their small shoulders, the weight they carry around for the day.  Simply because I can't hold it all together.  

I forget that they are only 9 and 10.   I hate that they worry about me, and feel overwhelmed.  I hate when Oldest says to me "OK.  I know. Ma, but you don't have to yell."  I hate that they feel like it's their fault that I am tired.  I hate to have to say "not now" and "we'll see" and "would you please stop playing your recorder".  I hate how noise sensitive I am, and that sometimes even the sound of their singing causes my entire body to itch. Really?  Who does that?

I try really hard everyday to make sure that I step back, take a second, and ensure that when I yell, it's absolutely necessary.  Some days it works. Some days, not.  I try really hard to keep it all in perspective, to keep a smile on my face.  Even when deep down, I really just want to be left alone for Five. Frickin'. Minutes.  Five minutes, and then I'll be fine.  But most days I don't get that five minutes.

Most days are an  Epic. Parenting. FAIL.

Which is why, most likely, the quote resonated something within me.

Maybe my new motherhood dream could be this...

I've yelled more than 9000 times as a mother.

I've completely lost my mind at least 300 times.

Countless times, I've been trusted to make the right choice, and not.

I've epically failed over, and over, and over, again in my life.

And that is why I will succeed. 

Truth Is Thursday...

Truth is... the tree doesn't have to look the same to produce the same nut...

6:15 am

 (Looking at Youngest lying on the couch)

Almost Hubs: "What are you doing?"

(without batting an eye)

Youngest: "Breathing."


Truth is... I really need to clean out the garage.  Starting with donating the car.

Truth is... my kids are really bad at brushing their teeth.  My parenting Epic failure this week?  Paying them to brush.  Hey, beats paying for fillings and root canals later...

Truth is...  I am becoming a regular fixture at the courthouse again.  Seems they've got a coffee mug already waiting for me Tuesday, with my name on it.

Truth is... I am petitioning for constituents at my house for new positions. 

New elected official include:

Maintenance of Bodily Fluids
Executive of The Throne
CEO of Produce Removal.

Seems no matter how I spin it, cleaner of puke, potty, and taking out the trash, is getting no qualified candidates.  Really?  In this economy?  You'd think I'd get someone...

Truth is...  I think I'd make a great ninja.  I've got mad skills.

Truth is... I've been asked to design a wedding dress for someone.  I really want to do it... but if she doesn't meet with me soon, I'm going to have to say the dreaded N. O. Word. (shudder)

Truth is...  I need sleep.  REALLY BAD.

To Do List...

Things I've been meaning to do on my day off...

Laundry.  The beauty of a laundry chute is that there's rarely laundry lying around.  The ugly is that once it's out of sight, it's out of mind. And my laundry pile has reached EPIC proportions...

Fix this...

Find Bonus Brother's glove for his Anime costume, since Anime Boston is in three weeks.

Easter shop.

Write two letters for the school.

Find the phone...

Find the living room table. 

Is that a popsicle stick? Eww... worst part?  I'm pretty sure that wasn't the 9 or 10 year old.

RSVP for the three birthday party invitations on the kitchen table.

Package up Nari's prize box and mail it out... because I never get to the post office.

Feed the cat.

Get a facial.

Organize Almost Hubs trading cards...

I think he may have moved in and forgot to tell me.  He assures me that No, in fact he hasn't, and that there is SO much more of this stuff to move in.  Mmmkay...

Some tweaking/finalizing of wedding stuff.

Pack up the heavy winter coats...

Mail out the birthday card I bought for my friend 2 months ago, because her birthday was yesterday, and again... when do I ever get to the post office?

Fix the zipper in Youngest's backpack...

Attempt to make another bunny like the one I made on Sunday.  With a few adaptations...

I believe he said they were carrot ninja swords and baby carrot grenade launchers.  The little one's his side kick.
Today is that much needed day off.

I'm going to check the list again, but I swear "going to work" was not on there.

Yet, that is what I'm doing.

Another day...

(after day care, health insurance, taxes, union dues, pension, etc. etc.)

 ...another  nickel.

How To Tuesday... How to Give Stella Back Her Groove..

Well, something seems to have happened to Monday.

I have no idea where it went.

But Clearly it's Tuesday again, and it seems that I've been caught with my laptop down.  Not like last Tuesday, when I prematurely posted and then Christie announced she was giving us all a week off.

But not to worry!  I still have 6 hours left to post this week's...




Now, I'd hoped someone would have trusted me with Grandma's hopelessly out of style fur coat, but again...NO.  Really?  Have I not proven myself?  So we'll have to do this with acrylic fur and an old picture I stole from my friends on the internet. 

(side note:  Thanks Lizzy for offering today... nice to know someone has blind faith in me...)

 Anyway, you'll have to just bear with me and use your imagination......

Stella is a bunny.  She's a happy bunny, hopping through the forest, minding her own business, scooping up field mice and boppin' them on the head.  Until rabbit season.  When Stella becomes this...

Picture credit from here...

Sadly, Stella has become a slave to the fashion of the times. Destined to be worn about in high society and then tucked in a far away closet, never to be seen again until years later, when she is no longer conscionable to be worn, and hopelessly out of style.

I couldn't bear to throw her away.  She's been with the family for so long, and while no one will ever wear her again, she's like an old friend, and a reminder of family get togethers gone by. So, I set off to find her a new home, a new purpose...

First I found a pattern...

I got it on sale for $3. NEVER pay full price for a pattern,they go on sale all the time. It only has two pieces and comes in three sizes.  (Even all you "can't sew a button folks" can handle this... promise.) And  it comes with fabulous instructions with pictures that are WAY better than mine. But, it wasn't a bunny, and I wanted a bunny pattern darn-it!  So I measured where the bear ear is...

...and made an ear pattern out of a paper bag.  The base of the ear measures 3.75 inches plus 1/2 in. seam allowance.  I made the bunny ear about 12 inches long, as I imagined Stella would have had long floppy ears...

Next, I cut the lining out of the coat.  I cut two of the ear pieces from the lining.  This became the inside of her ears.  Then using a seam ripper, I carefully separated the remainder of the fur pelts.  I laid the pieces out, making sure the grain lines were running the same way, top to bottom, and cut out the four body pieces.  Then, I cut two more of the ear pieces.

Now there's several tricks to cutting fur.  One is to only cut through the pelt part and not the fur.  This takes forever, but is the best way to accurately cut fur.

YEAH...I don't do that.

Which is why my house and every surface in it, now looks like this...

I suggest keeping the vacuum handy at all times.  And be prepared to be coughing up hairballs that even the cat would envy, for weeks.  OK.  Next step, make the ears.  Pin the right sides together (the right side is the side of the fabric you want showing when you're done) of one lining piece and one fur piece.  Repeat for the second ear.  Clip the curves up to the seam (but not through)...

Then turn it inside out.  Lightly iron the lining flat along the edges, but be careful not to have the iron on so high that it burns the fur.  It's hair people...seriously, you'll never get that smell out of the house...

Set it aside and move on to the darts (small triangular seems used for shaping of fabric) on the head...

Sew the seam from the circular dot to the end...

Repeat on other side.  Then take both front pieces, and sew the center front of the bears body.  Again, right sides together...

Now, a professional will also tell you to trim out your seem allowance so that the fur does not end up sewn into the seam.  I don't have time for that either... Just try to tuck in as much fur as you can before you sew.  Regardless of which method you choose, you will still end up with seams that look like this...

Just take a pin and carefully pull the sewn fur back out.  It will fluff out beautifully, and you'll never see the seam.  Next, Attach the ears to the head of your bunny.  Make sure that the fur sides are together, so that when it's turned right side out, the ears will hang correctly.  Pin in place, then sew in....

Next, sew darts in the back side of the body, exactly how the head darts were sewn.  Then sew the center back seam, skipping about 3 inches in the middle of the back so you can stuff him later.  Cut 2  4 inch half moon shapes out of excess fur.  Turn right side out and lightly stuff.  This is your tail.  Attach your tail to the bottom of the butt in the same fashion as the ears...

(sorry no photo available.  I forgot all about the tail and had to improvise later)

Now we're really to construct the body...

Are you seeing it yet?  Sew around the entire body, being careful not to catch the ears in the seems.  Clip all your curves, or Stella will end up with a wonky leg that always pulls in the wrong direction.  Turn right side out, and fluff your seams.....

OK.  Are you with me now?  Start stuffing Stella via the three inch opening in the center back seam...

Use small clumps of stuffing and make sure you stuff all the way down into each hand and foot.  I thought Stella should be kind of floppy and free spirited, so I used a lot in the feet and hands and less in the arms and legs.  Then I stuffed the body cavity lightly so I could see how to position her face.  I purchased some eyes and a nose at the craft store.  I prefer green eyes, but all they had was brown.  Noses are sold in packs of six... eyes in packs of two.  Why? I have no idea.  Anyway...

Position your eyes on the face, cut a small opening to push the eye through...

And attach the fastener on the back...

Repeat for the nose. Note:  Nose should be close to the center seam but don't cut the seam to insert it, just get it as close as you can so it looks centered.  Next trim out any excess fur that will detract from her eyes, or tickle her nose...

...and finish stuffing.  Sew up the back opening with a whip stitch (a hand stitch that closes the opening), throw a bow in her hair, and introduce Stella to her new owner.... Grandma's great grand daughter

And that, my friends... is how Stella gets her groove back.