Diet Coke And ADHD...

Saturday

7am:  Drag butt out of bed.  Stumble to fridge and down what's left of the 2 liter of Diet Coke in an attempt to cut through the nastiness of swollen guck and post nasal drip that has taken over your head over the last two days.  Suddenly start to feel better.

Shower, dress, wrap birthday present for Oldest's friend's birthday party later.  Leave sticky note on to of gift with turn by turn direction for Tony for when and where he needs to take him today.  Have Tony read directions back to you, while mocking your morning handwriting.  Assess how important his help is for the day, and allow him to live. For now...

Load up the car with three weeks worth of trash.  Leave for work, but not before Tony hands you a packet to be mailed.  Drive to the transfer station, unload three weeks of trash from the car.

Drive to branch Post Office, surprise your friend by opening the back door of the building before she's open.  Convince her that you're not a crazed stamp thief, sit down and catch up. Realize that you've forgotten your checkbook and will have to wait until her window is open to mail your item.  Sit back down and  gossip until she officially opens for the day.

Go to work.  Down another Diet Coke. Cram 8.5 hour day into 5.25 hours.

Drive home.  Load car with 378 pounds of kitchen renovation crap. Drive to the other transfer station. Unload 378 pounds of tile, drywall, and insulation.  Polish off another 8 ounces of Diet Coke.

Drive to birthday party.  Pick up Oldest.

Drive to Walmart.  Make list before you go in and brave the masses. While inside, ask Oldest several times what's on the list to stay focused. Thank God that Oldest can read. Wait 30 minutes in line and decide while there, that most of your impulse buys are not necessary.  Have Oldest return them all over the store while you wait in line.  While paying, grab Cracker Jacks and another Diet Coke.

Return to car.  Notice you forgot the return that's been sitting the the car for two weeks. Decide it can wait for another day.  Become completely disappointed by the lack of quality in the prize in the Cracker Jack Box.  Drink another Diet Coke.

Drive to Craft Store.  Pick up pirate paint for mustaches for tomorrow's birthday party.

Drive home.  On the drive home realize you forgot the return for the craft store, also sitting in the car for the last two weeks.

Arrive home.  Sit down at the sewing machine.  Create this...

From a rolled up weeding dress, tossed in an attic 10 years ago.  Stick yourself several times with pins. Swear under breath.

Make dinner.  Notify Tony that there will be no meat balls with the spaghetti.  Take note of his sad face as he opts for tuna.

Iron Christening gown.  Decide to make bonnet to match.

Curse some more.  Stab yourself several more times.

Convince Oldest he should pick some chore chips since he is bored out of his mind.  Stand back and revel in the fact that he did a better job than you would have at most of the tasks he chose.

Put kids to bed.  Quickly rid house from the seqins and teeny tiny pearls that have now taken over every surface.  Decide to clean kitchen.  Get distracted by smell in fridge.  Clean out fridge.  Notice the countertops, get out the cleaner.  Notice how dirty the oven is.  Clean oven.  Notice the filth that has taken up residence in microwave, and clean that too.

Seriously rethink having this much Diet Coke in one day. Switch to Caffeene free, and pour yourself a glass.

Put away the bags of stuff you bought at Walmart.

Suddenly remember that a year ago a friend of a friend asked you to design some tattoos for her.  Sit down and draw them out.

One of nine designs.

Tuck them away to bring to work later in the week. In a place you'll definitely remember.

1am.... Go to bed. Sleep for 6 hours.  Wake up.  Swear off Diet Coke for life.

Turn on computer for the first time in two days.

Clean out 47 emails. Wonder how on Earth these companies got your email address anyway.

Rely on the residual  Diet Coke still coursing through your veins, and pray it gives you just enough energy to make it through Sunday.

Then remember that you're painting pitrate mustaches on the faces of 18 six year olds today.

Stumble to the fridge and get another Diet Coke.