Meanwhile Back At Mamma's...

"...the porch light's on, come on in if ya wanna..." ~ Tim McGraw

Actually it's the back light.

But we're home.

All the time.

Anxiously awaiting pay day.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am in no way complaining about feeling broke.  In the last month I have spent out a lot of money on things that are luxuries.  Central air installed in the house, 6 days of hotel rooms, and new sneakers for Oldest and myself just to name a few.  There's been plenty of money spent on non luxuries as well, like home owner insurance, a full tank of propane, and about $600 worth of co-pays and non insurable extras that I wasn't expecting.  Truthfully, I never take for granted how fortunate I am to be able to pay for all those things in cash, and as much as I mumble about going to work every day, I appreciate that it keeps the roof over our heads, food in the bellies, and shoes on our feet.  Literally. Tony works as well, but our finances are kept separate for the most part, and while he pays a large amount of the expenses around here and randomly hands me proverbial blank checks to do with what I want, I still feel as though it's my responsibility to balance my money appropriately.

And for the last two pay periods, the balance has been dead near zero.

Truth is, it was not really that long ago that every pay period was down to the wire. As a single mom I was the only momentary support for the boys and financial priorities were 1) mortgage 2) day care, and 3) everything else necessary for existing. Our fridge was never full (mind you, now a days it's still never full because Oldest has got the teen tapeworm and eats it ALL.) and quite often I was scouring the attic for things to sell on eBay.  Nonetheless, we survived.  We always managed.  And for the most part, I never worried about how we'd make it though.  I just kept going, day to day, pay check to pay check. So last pay period, when we were down to $4, I kind of looked at it like a challenge.

We went no where we didn't need to go.  Every trip was consolidated with somewhere else.  I said "No" when the kids wanted to go for ice cream.  I resisted hitting the grocery store because I was "in the mood for insert whatever here" and made what we had on hand for dinner instead.  I window shopped online for fabric for the curtains instead of getting tempted in the fabric store. And the finally, Friday came and all was good in our world again.

And then the next round of medical bills came, the new premium for the home owner's insurance, the discovery of an empty propane tank (hot water), and the blow out of Oldest's sneakers.

So here I am again.  Returning unopened vitamins because I can use the $15 for gas (What was I thinking anyway?  TWO capsules, TWICE a day?  No one has time for that.) and foraging the freezer for long forgotten meals to be made.  And though all this, you know what I've discovered?  That despite the whining from the kids of "starving" and "it's not fair that we have no dessert", knowing that I won't be throwing freezer burnt food away makes me feel less wasteful.  Finally making those cookies from the mix way in the back makes the house smell good. And being caught up on laundry, because there's no where to go and Youngest seems to like hanging out in his boxer shorts all day, makes the people in this house smell good.

Yeah, being stuck in the house isn't all that bad, especially when it's pouring buckets outside.  It gives me the chance to change out the buckets it's pouring inside up in the attic.

It seems the whereabouts of the leak is still eluding us both.

And the roofing cement/tar is all gone anyway.

And... there's no money to buy more right now even if I could find the leak.

*sigh*

Is it Friday yet?